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I only hesitated for a moment.  I wrapped my hands around the thick black wire and pulled with all of my strength.  I felt the energy surge through my body.  Everything went from blindingly bright, to gray, then slowly faded to black.  I knew this was how it was going to end; in truth I was glad to have it finally over with.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you are about to die.  Mine didn’t – well, not exactly, anyway.  My story played out in my head, at least the part that led me to where I am now, lying peacefully on the forest floor.

Tom, a boy I had a crush on for years, finally asked me to the Spring Fling last March.  We went with Tom’s best friend Joey and his girlfriend Amber.  Not the brightest bulb, Joey tried to sneak beer into the dance when everyone knew the police would be checking the cars.  Surprise, surprise, we got caught.

The police were actually reasonably nice, and let me, Tom, and Amber go home.  But they did call our parents.  Tom and Amber probably got a lecture.  I knew I wouldn’t get off so easy.  My parents were tough – especially my mother.  I thought they would ground me for a month.  Actually, I wasn’t grounded at all.  But I was punished, and the severity of it shocked even me.  It’s strange how your life can change in a second -- a pivotal moment -- and yet, you only realize it looking back.  If I hadn’t got caught that night, I would have finished up my sophomore year at Lakeville High a few days ago, and I would not be dying right now.  And yet, if I had to do it over, I wouldn’t change a thing.  Well, maybe one thing.  I wish I had written it all down, so everyone would know how I ended up like this, and more importantly, that I had no regrets.

I would begin on that blustery March night, and this is what I’d write….

Copyright © 2012 Erin Cashman

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